Show and Tell Post 3

I wanted to know more about the different divisions of rape.  I found a Wikipedia site (www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CDMQFjAA&url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Types_of_rape&ei=nqC3UJ3tFoWo8QTWhYCACA&usg=AFQjCNGdS3leHas-oQufohWz8cTM2qtI_w&sig2=066Y7q46Lt1X3Qay8zy98Q) that gave a list of eight different types of rape.  The first one is called “Date Rape.”  This is the most common type of rape.  It is defined as rape by someone you know and/or are close to.  This includes coworkers and schoolmates.  This type of rape can also occur between two people that are dating and who have had consensual sex before.  Anytime that it is not consensual, though, it is considered date rape.  The second type is “Gang Rape.”  This happens when a group of people are involved in the rape of a single victim—usually about three violators.  There is also a division called “Spousal or Partner Rape.”  Even if you have been married for twenty years or more, it is still rape if you force yourself onto your spouse.  “Statutory Rape” is defined as having sexual intercourse with someone who is underage and unable to give consent.  Even if the underage person is the one who initiates the behavior, it is still considered rape because that person is deemed incompetent to give such consent.  Rape between inmates is called “Prison Rape.”  These rapes are mostly same-sex crimes, due to prisons being separated by gender.  However, these rapes are not out of acts of homosexuality.  Instead, these acts are out of power.  The inmates want to force their power onto the other to show who is in charge.  “War Rape” is what happens when a prisoner of war is raped in order to humiliate them and to exert dominance.  Any rape that occurs when the violator tricks the victim into giving consent is considered “Rape by Deception.”  The last form of rape listed on this site is called “Corrective Rape.”  This type of rape is used as a punishment for homosexuals by heterosexuals.  The rapists feel that their actions are justified because of the victim’s sexual orientation.  They feel that the victims deserved what they got. 

Rape is Rape

People need to be better informed on what exactly rape is.  To be able to give a precise definition, I googled “rape.”  What came up was, “the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse; any act of sexual intercourse that is force upon a person; statutory rape.”   I then looked up statutory rape, which is “sexual intercourse with a girl under the age of consent.”  This definition struck me as strange.  So it is only statutory rape if the girl is underage?  A boy cannot fall victim to this type of rape?  What if he was forced into it by an older woman?  There are so many different divisions of rape that most people do not know about.  There is a such thing as spousal rape or partner rape.  Just because you are in a relationship with someone it does not mean that he or she can just have their way with you whenever they feel like it.  It is still rape.  It is still someone using force to have intercourse.  This is wrong!  It is wrong to force anyone to do anything that they either do not want to do or do not feel comfortable doing.  These are the type of things that we need to be more educated on.  Rape is rape, and all rape is bad.  

So Many Privileges

One thing that I never really thought about before this class was privileges.  We are privileged with so much that we do not even realize just for being who we are, just for being born where we were, etc.  I never realized how privileged I am for simply being a white American female.  I have the privilege to go to school and earn a degree.  I have the privilege go where I want to go and be who I want to be.  I am so very thankful for the privileges that I have.  Because of this class, I can now better recognize when I am taking advantage of a privilege and I am humbled by it.  I am very grateful for the things that I have been blessed with and for the opportunities I have been given.  Sometimes I feel guilty for the privileges I have been given.  This class has taught me that everyone is privileged in some sort of way.  The best thing we can do is to not let these privileges go to waste.  We should make the most of what life has given us.

Pro-life

My dad and I were talking about this subject last week.  We got into a discussion about when, if ever, is it okay to have an abortion.  I stand firm in my beliefs of pro-life.  I believe that once there is fertilization, there is new life.  Having an abortion would be ending a life and that is no one’s job but God’s.  My dad and I are both pro-life, but he held the argument asking, “what if the girl was raped and she got pregnant?”  He continued to reason that the child would only be a constant reminder of all the torture and struggle the poor girl went through.  He thinks that in this circumstance it is okay to get an abortion.  This really got me thinking.  If I was raped and got pregnant, what would I do?  Right now, I tell myself that I would keep it.  The baby would be a part of my attacker, but it would also be a part of me.  In the end, I might end up giving the baby up for adoption, but I cannot see me ending its life.  Some people say that if a child is conceived through rape, then it was God’s plan.  I do not necessarily agree with that.  However, I do believe that if you decide to keep that baby, then God will have great plans for him or her.

Objectified

I used to work in a grocery store in my hometown.  While I was there, the guys would constantly harass me.  They would always ask me if I had an old man.  Even though at the time I did not, I would lie and say I had a boyfriend just so they would leave me alone.  One of my guy friends that worked with me would always accompany me whenever I had to go into the backroom to keep all the other guys at bay.  At first, I was flattered that I was getting so much attention.  I thought, “Wow, these guys must really think I am cute and like my personality.”  False.  Most of the guys I had never talked to before, so how could they know what my personality was like?  Some of them kept trying to give me their numbers asking me to call if I was ever lonely and was feeling frisky.  This disgusted me.  They did not want to talk to me.  They did not want to get to know me.  All they wanted was to get with me.  I was embarrassed that I ever let any of them talk to me.  I felt like I should have known better.  I am usually the type to always think the best of others.  Now, I have to second guess the intentions of everyone I meet.

Extra Show and Tell post

My mom and I were talking the other day about how Halloween costumes have changed so much, especially kids’ costumes.  I was looking online for costumes when I came across this site, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/25/sexy-halloween-costumes-for-girls_n_2011943.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular#slide=1687821.  On this website, it compares Halloween costumes from 1990 to 2012.  The differences are unsettling.  Please notice that all of these pictures are of young girls, no boys.

            Twenty years ago, you would not have found young girls dressed in outfits consisting of cut off tops and short skirts.  One lady reports that she went shopping for a costume for her 3 year old and was expecting to find big princess costumes and accessories.  What she was not expecting was costumes including knee high boots and pleather outfits made for 4 year olds.  She continues to report how the young models were posed, “hip thrust out, chest forward, lots of makeup, come hither look.”

 Like the title of the article states, Halloween costumes have shifted from fun and silly to almost sexy looks; and these girls do not know what their poses, expressions, and outfits even mean.  Halloween used to be about trying to be either the scariest or the silliest. It has now shifted to who can look the sassiest.  A quote from Mean Girls sticks out to me, “In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.”  Granted, these girls are in high school and should have a clue about what they could be getting themselves into.

After looking through some of the pictures shown on this website, I have to ask myself, “How do parents think it is okay to let their child run around practically half naked?”  I know the kids do not mean anything by it.  They do not know what their cute little outfits symbolize, but the parents should know better than to, in my opinion, objectify their children.

Show and Tell post 2

After Liz Fletcher-Brown’s presentation Monday, I became very curious about guys’ views on self-image and body image.  I never really thought about how a guy’s mindset about constantly going to the gym and to bulk up is related to a girl’s mindset that she has to starve herself to make herself be thin.  For both sexes, the end result is all about giving themselves a better body image that they think society is looking for.  I found this website (http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_body/beautiful/male_bodyimage.html) that talks about guys’ body images.

            This website points out that during puberty it can be especially easy for a guy’s self-image to be based particularly on looks.  Puberty is the time when a teen’s body is changing greatly:  voice is changing, muscle tone is changing, and body hair is growing.  Being the first, or the last, guy to hit puberty can make some guys highly self-conscious.  Another point this website has is that body image can be in your genes.  A lot of negative body image comes from having high expectations for puberty and then not getting what was wanted.  A tip is to not assume to look a certain way, and to look at the family.  How are your father and grandfather built?  How are your uncles and cousins built? 

            It used to be said that only girls felt the pressure to be “picture-perfect.”  This is not necessarily true anymore.  Many magazines and ad agencies have put a great deal of emphasis on male body image.  In reality, that “as-advertised body” is unattainable because the males you see on the covers do not exist.  They have been photoshopped because even the “perfect bodies” are not perfect enough so they are taken one step farther.

A quote that I like from this website is, “Having a positive body image means feeling pretty satisfied with the way you look, appreciating your body for its capabilities and accepting its imperfections.”  We can get so wrapped up in what we think society wants from us, that we forget to be grateful for the bodies that we do have and the privileges that come with it.  We forget that no one is perfect and it is these imperfections that make us who we are.  They are what distinguish us as individuals in the world and not as a bunch of clones roaming around each seeking another way for attention.

Eating Disorders pt 2

Something that stood out to me in Mrs. Liz Fletcher-Brown's presentation is the fact that part of the condition of having an eating disorder is the person with the condition does not want to get help.   They do not want to get better.  The people with eating disorders are treatment resistant.  They think that what they are doing is good for them; they think it is healthy.  Although, treatment is extensive and expensive, it is still necessary for the person’s well-being.  Anorexia and bulimia have a 60% death rate.  

I also found it interesting that the ratio of women to men with this disorder is 7:1.  This, to me, is not surprising.  Women are much more concerned with their looks and appearance than men.  Society today puts more emphasis on women’s appearance, making it out to be that you have to have that perfect hourglass figure or you will not be considered beautiful.  This is a distorted belief.  It pains me to see people who starve themselves just to fit this fictional image of the perfect woman.  Some people go as far as committing suicide because they can’t handle the pressure.  I believe everyone is beautiful in their own unique way.  

Eating Disorders pt 1

I do not understand how someone has an eating disorder.  I do not understand how someone who is diagnosed with anorexia or bulimia can’t just start eating more or quit making themselves throw up?  I have always viewed eating disorders as more of a personal choice than really a disorder.  I guess my question is why can’t someone who is diagnosed with an eating disorder control how often they eat, how much they eat, and what they eat?  This has always been a great mystery to me.  I hope someone can help clear this up for me.  Thanks!

First Encounter

During my eighth grade year, I was acquaintances with a girl who claimed to be lesbian.  In a small town like where I am from, this is big news.  The rumors spread like wild fire through the school and town.  Many parents and students did not believe her and ridiculed her saying that she did not know what sex was and that she was too young and immature to know who she was sexually attracted to.  They all claimed that she was only going around spouting off that she was gay for attention; she did not really mean it.  After all of the drama, she then said she was bisexual.  This of course spurred yet another round of ridicule.  How could you be attracted to both guys and girls?  That was neither acceptable nor possible.  I could not understand why people were having such a conniption over this girl.  I, personally, had no problem with her.  She was still a girl who woke up each morning like the rest of us.  She went to school and did her homework.  She was not given any special privileges.  Who am I to judge her on whom she chooses to spend her time with?  It is not my place to tell her who she can or cannot see, just like it is not her place to tell me who I can or cannot see.  There is someone out there for everyone.  Whether that is a man or a woman, I do not know.

Activist

I am not real sure if this is the type of “activist” role we are supposed to be reflecting on, but I am going to give it a shot anyway.  During my senior year of high school, I can remember standing in the courtyard behind the cafeteria enjoying my lunch break while talking with some friends.  There was a group of guys not far from where we were all chatting.  Suddenly the group grew larger and I could see they were forming a circle around a big senior football jock and a smaller fellow, I think he was a sophomore, who looked terrified.  The football guy kept throwing his arms around and swearing at the top of his lungs.  I could not stand by and watch this poor kid get bullied, so I went over to the large group of kids.  I listened to what the jock was yelling (something about how the other kid needs to learn respect and watch where he’s going) and calmly walked into the middle of the circle.  By this point, my heart was racing and everyone had turned to look at me.  I walked up to the jock and whispered in his ear that he had to give respect to get respect and that if he didn’t walk away he would lose all of the respect of his classmates for beating up on someone who was half of his size and obviously did not stand a chance in a fight.  Luckily for me, the jock looked me in the eye and walked away.  I have never felt better about myself for standing for someone who was being treated unfairly.  I did not know the sophomore boy before then, but it did not matter.  I felt like I had to take a stand even if no one else would.

Universalize vs Eliminate

While scanning through a blog on female privilege (http://www.feministcritics.org/blog/2008/06/08/female-privilege/), I came across one that really stood out to me, “My role in my child’s life is generally seen as more important than the child’s father’s role.”  I am not a big fan of this.  I believe that the role of the mother and father should be equal in the child’s life.  I do understand that the role of the mother being greater is coming from the fact that the mother, of course, is the one that carried the child for nine months and gave birth.  One must realize, though, that it took the father and the mother to have the child, so therefore I believe the father’s role should be given more weight.  This, in turn, would cause the mother’s privilege of having the most important role in her child’s life to be eliminated.  I am okay with this.  I am okay with sharing responsibility, care, and the importance of our role in our child’s life.  Although, please realize that I am saying this while I currently do not have a child.  Maybe once I do, my opinion on this matter will change but for now I strongly believe that both the father and the mother are equally important to their child and should be treated as such.

Show and Tell post 1

The whole idea of how each and every one of us is privileged in one way or another really intrigued me.  I never thought about just how many privileges I have and how I take just about all of them for granted.  In Gianpiero Petriglieri’s blog “Privilege: A User’s Guide” (located at http://blogs.hbr.org/hbsfaculty/2012/01/privilege-a-users-guide.html), he states, “I have a wonderful family and good friends.”  I never once considered having a family and friends to be a privilege, but it truly is.  Having family and friends is a precious gift that can be taken from us in an instant either by death or simply because distance severs the relationship between you and the ones you love.  There are many people in the world who are all alone.  They have no family to run to when they need help or want to celebrate a holiday or special occasion.  They have no friends to call when they need a shoulder to cry on or someone to go out and have fun with. 

Petriglieri also states, “I am healthy, educated and well-travelled.”  I also have not thought about health and education as a privilege.  It is a privilege that I was able to graduate high school and to attend this university and hopefully go on to grad school.  These opportunities will allow me to better my life in the future and provide a better home environment for my own family where my children will have the same opportunities I had.  

Also in Petriglieri’s blog, he mentions that he feels ashamed of his privileges.  There are certain instances where I realized I have been privileged in a certain way and I, too, feel ashamed because I can see how others who do not have the same privileges as me are treated unfairly.  Some of the privileges that we have are out of our control.  I cannot control that I was born a white female and therefore have certain privileges that someone not of the same race or gender as me does not have and vice versa.

Petriglieri says that we should recognize our privileges, accept its price, forget where it came from, and to use it well and wisely.  By “accept its price”, he means to recognize what it will take to make the most out of that privilege.  He explains the reason to “forget where it came from” as, “When you spend your life trying to prove that you deserved your privilege, or trying to hoard and protect it, you waste it.”  You can use privilege well by using the power it gives you to shape norms and make a change which will in turn expand the privilege to others.  From reading his blog, I have realized that I am truly blessed and privileged and I need to make the most of the opportunities given to me, as should everyone else with their own privileges.

Hegemony

Why do we stand in line? Why do we wait patiently for our turn to get into the football games, to buy a drink at the concession stand, or wait in a turning lane at a red light?  Is it because it is the right thing to do?  In reality, there is no law stating that we must be patient and wait on everyone else in front of us to get what they needed before we are allowed to get what we want.  We do it because that is just the way it is supposed to be.  It is the way that we were raised and brought up.  We were taught to wait our turn because eventually it will be our turn.  You will not get arrested for skipping in line, although you might get roughed up a bit by the people you did skip or pulled out of line and sent to the back by an officer, but ultimately it is not a so called crime.  We are okay with waiting in line because we know that it would be very rare for the people running the show to run out of what we want.  What if that was not the case? What if it was first come first serve and once they ran out, they were out?  People would be a lot less willing to sit and wait, especially if the product was something perishable such as food or water. Things would get hectic if that were the case.  So in order to portray that there is some type of control in our lives, we sit in live patiently waiting to get what we ultimately want.   

Privilege

One privilege that I have never really thought about is having to worry about fitting into classroom seats or onto rollercoaster rides.  The seats at LSU are extremely close together and the aisles are very narrow.  One of my guy friends is not overweight but is a burly guy so when he ties to sit in the classroom he has to squeeze himself into the seat. 

I remember when I went on my first rollercoaster ride when I was about 10 years old.  I did not want to go without my dad.  We got all the way to end of the line and it was finally our turn to board the ride.  We stand in place and weight for the attendant to strap us in.  The attendant hooked me in first and then went to my dad.  The safety harness would not latch and my dad was asked to step off of the ride.  This broke my heart.  I could not understand why my dad could not come with me.

Kitchen Duty

I hate doing the dishes.  Every single night, I find myself in front of the kitchen sink with my hands plunged into soapy water.  Being raised in a traditional southern home, I have grown use to our nightly routine.  First, my mom and I cook supper.  Second, we serve my dad and brothers and ourselves last.  Third, after everyone is finished eating, we pick up all of the plates, cups, and silverware and store the leftovers.  After that, my brothers and my dad proceed to the living room to lie on the couch and watch TV while my mom and I hit the kitchen sink to knock out the dishes.  I have always envied how my brothers got to just lounge about after supper, not having to worry about the chore of cleaning up.  I can understand cleaning up after a toddler or someone who is incapable of doing so, but they are grown men and I am positive that they are able to rinse their plates and slip them into the dishwasher.  It really is that simple; I promise.  It takes a total of maybe five seconds to do.  If I can go outside and do “men’s work” like cutting grass and chopping firewood, then they should be able to do “women’s work” and put up their own dishes.  

Going Against the "Norm"

I find that during my entire upbringing I have crossed the line for the “norm” of gender or sexual behavior.  I live in a very rural area and am always out doing something in the yard.  I am the youngest of three and the only daughter in my family.  On the day that I was born, my dad told my mom that he was going to raise me just like one of the boys.  And so he did.  Most little girls got Barbie’s to play with and watched Disney princess movies all day.  Instead, I got Transformer action figures and grew up watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers.  Instead of going to dance class and out shopping, I was headed off to practice for whatever sport I was currently playing—whether it was softball, volleyball or soccer—or going hunting for whatever was in season.

When growing up, I absolutely hated getting my nails done and getting my hair all froo frooed.  What was the point if they were just going to get ruined as soon as I got home?  I still hardly ever wear make-up because I honestly do not see the point in it.  Isn’t it “what’s on the inside that counts?”  Why make myself someone that I am not?  I find that girls these days like to mask themselves just to have the slightest approval from the male population.  I believe in individuality and am not going to let someone’s opinion of “beauty” discourage me.  I am who I am.  Accept me, or move on to the next one. 

The truth is I am a girl that was born and raised in the country and am proud of it.  From my childhood, I have learned to work hard for everything I get because nothing is just handed out.  I have learned to be responsible and to take pride in everything I do.  I have learned to respect those around me and I have especially learned how to turn up that southern charm.

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